4. Lawrence of Arabia (1962) "I pray that I may never see the desert again. Hear me, God." Director: David Lean Stars: Peter O'Toole, Omar Sharif, Anthony Quinn & Alec Guinness Oscars: Best Picture, Best Director, Best Cinematography (Color), Best Film Editing, Best Art Direction, Best Score  & Best Sound

Synopsis: A biographic account of British Army lieutenant T.E. Lawrence (Peter O'Toole) and his military escapades in Arabia during the first World War. Dissatisfied with his assignment as a cartographer in Cairo, the capricious Lawrence jumps at the chance to observe Prince Feisal and his tribe in the Arabian desert. Lawrence soon becomes enraptured with the Arabs plight against the invading Turks and gains the ear of Feisal in military matters. Leading an army of tribesmen in the conquering of the Turk-held port city of Aqaba, Lawrence scores one of the greatest upsets in WWI. Lawrence's  initial victory shocks his British superiors, but doesn't satisfy his own quest of uniting the Arab tribes while liberating them from Turkish rule. There's sand in your eye, Turks!

He said: I remember reading a Roger Ebert review on The Shawshank Redemption a while back. In it, Ebert explained that most people are intimidated by the notion of watching a great movie because they think of it as hard work rather than relaxation or entertainment. Going in, that's kind of how I felt about Lawrence of Arabia — that it was going to be hard work (to stay conscious). I wasn't intimidated by the movie itself, mind you, but rather by its length. Lawrence is a two-tape video, nearly four hours long. And, truth be told, I really don't look forward to watching two-tapers.

She said: This movie blew like a big horn. I was absolutely dreading watching this film. The Godfather and Gone With the Wind were two-tapers, but yet I was screaming for more when the credits rolled. With Lawrence, I was just screaming. I was screaming to keep myself from falling asleep.

He said: Well, you obviously weren't screaming loud enough then…

She said: I admit I dozed off a couple of times.

He said: Yeah, a couple dozen…

She said: There was sand, men on camels walking through sand, people sinking into sand and then there was more sand. The desert setting supposedly helped Lawrence climb to its top 10 location. But for me, the desert motif was drab and lifeless.

He said: Yeah, it's pretty obvious that the star of this movie wasn't Peter O'Toole, Omar Sharif or Anthony Quinn. It was the desert. Director David Lean made a bold decision by choosing to shoot Lawrence on location in the Arabian desert, and he certainly squeezed every ounce of footage that he could out of that godforsaken desert. The setting overwhelmed the film. How many times can you show a panoramic shot of men and camels roaming across the desert? And how many times can you show a bleached-out shot of the sun with creepy violin music? We got it already, Mr. Lean. They're in the desert, and it's sweltering! 

She said: I think something else that made the movie boring was the lack of women. You would think that in a four-hour film they could throw in some sort of love interest. Otherwise, it's just a bunch of men running around in the desert acting like idiots. 

He said: Now that you bring it up, you're right. There were no female speaking parts in the entire movie. Pretty refreshing. No incessant nagging or cheesy love scenes.

She said: I know I've been ragging on Lawrence pretty hard. On a positive note, the acting was superb. O'Toole had a flawless performance in the role of T.E. Lawrence — madman. Filming on location in the desert has got to be quite a trying experience. I give all the actors their rightful props. That's the only glimmer of hope I can give if you have yet to sit down and watch this chore of a film.

He said: Well, I will say that on the second tape the film really pepped up. I perked up a little when O'Toole and his not-so-merry band of Arabs started blowing up trains, but by that time the film was too far gone for me to enjoy. You know something that really bothered me about Lawrence?

She said: You mean, just one thing?

He said: During the first 90 minutes of the movie, O'Toole spent more than an hour trudging through the desert. First, he has to locate his Arab guide. Sand. Then, he has to find Prince Feisal. Sand and sun. Then, he decides to attack the Turk-controlled city of Aqaba. Sand, sun and thirst. The culmination of that entire hour-long desert sequence is a two-minute scene when O'Toole and his crew conquer Aqaba. It was quite a letdown. I really felt that we, as moviegoers, had earned more 
than two minutes of sustained action after all that. The triumph over the Turks at Aqaba could have been the best scene in the movie, if David Lean had given a flying carpet about it. I guess Lean would rather film grains of sand than one of the greatest upset victories of WWI. By the way, after they conquer Aqaba guess what happens next? That's right! Lawrence (or "Or-ance" as the Arabs annoyingly called him) decides to trek across another desert to alert the British forces in Cairo about 
his success. Lean devotes another 15 minutes to that.

She said: Yeah, I was equally let down by the lack of climax when they overtook Damascus at the end. They didn't show diddly squat. I find joy in the fact that I will never have to watch this movie again in my God-given life. For those of you who have not been deterred by our review, just think of watching this movie as your own personal journey through an endless desert. It's a pain in the neck while you're doing it, but once you're through think of the great story you'll have to tell. They should sell "I Survived Watching Lawrence of Arabia" T-shirts.

He said: Maybe that's what the filmmakers had in mind. Maybe they wanted everyone to experience first-hand Lawrence's excruciatingly boring trek across the desert. If that was their intent, then they succeeded beyond belief. Lawrence of Arabia was more about the deserts of Arabia than it was about the foppish T.E. Lawrence. A setting should supplement, not overpower, the film. Instead of focusing on the amazing underdog military victories orchestrated by Lawrence, the film centered around the sand, sun and endless desolation of the desert. Perhaps that's appropriate because to me, the film was like sand in my bathing suit. It irritated the hell out of me and was a pain in the ass to endure.